Everything is beautiful in it's time

i have to admit that this 2013 is totally not my year at all.
i just have a broken heart at the end of 2012, and my dad got stroke at the beginning of new year.
and when doctor diagnosed that he got stroke, i know this going to change my life forever, change my family and everything.

i am just and ordinary teenager who wants to have a normal life like others.
not because i don't love my dad. i love him, i do, i really do.
but sometimes these things are making me frustrated.

my dad, can't go to work anymore.
and for the stroke patient, they have to do some kind of therapy at home for making the independent again.
he himself, still not accept why he get the disease, but he also lazy to do the therapy.

i met a lot of people that got stroke. and i have to say that my dad still have the lucky condition.
he still be able to walk, to feel, and to eat. just his hand that still need a lot therapy to do.
but those people seems to accept the fact and go on with their life.
they're able to laugh, communicate, socialize, etc.
except my dad.

he feel so embarrassed.
he doesn't want to meet people.
everyday always whining.
everyday always crying.
everyday always mad and angry to everybody.

he become stubborn
he become so sensitive
he become egoist

i don't understand why he still not have the spirit to heal
me, myself also feel so bored and annoyed with all his whining and crying thing
and i also feel so frustrated when he shout whenever i said something for his own good.

lucky me, i go to the university. which makes me to live in the dorm for one week.
but still, i have to go home every weekend.
i feel so lucky so i don't have to face my dad everyday because i know that will making me insane.
but i feel so pity for my mom and brother.

God, when will this end?
i always want to have a happy family, healthy until they can be able to see their grandchildren.
i want them to see and attend at my wedding someday.
i want them to be happy.
but somehow, i'm not sure if my wishes are going to come true.

life's sucks. i know that.
life doesn't always smooth.
it's my choice whether to face or give up..
i choose to face this.
i believe everything will be beautiful in it's time.