life's fucking sucks

happy Good Friday people.
i don't know how to react on today's Good Friday.
i should be thankful for today right?
Jesus died for me and erase all my sins.

in the morning i feel so grateful.
grateful that i still live till today, i can be able to breath and see.
i feel so happy that my cousin come and brings her children which i miss so much.
everything is doing so well until now.

my dad's is sick
everyone at home are really tired
and my parents are fighting again.

i really need to get the hell out from this reality
need a place where i can live peacefully
need a place where i don't need to worry about the shitty things that happen in my house or in this world
need a place where no need for me to pretend to be someone else, but myself
need a place where i can laugh, smile and be happy everyday, all day long.

home should be the place for me to feel safe
the place where i could take a rest
but why i don't feel it here?
why i always want to get the hell out of here?

i know life doesn't always goes smooth
i know we have to face life
and i also know that life's fucking sucks
i don't know when this will end
how long that i have to go through this?
how long a have to be patient?