perfect?

for me, 2016 so far has been full of ups and downs.

i got my new job which i kinda love and hate.

watched concert yesterday, being with my new friends.

got a date, not serious yet, but i really hope for this man.

do you think that my problems solved? NO

i still have this father that still being a hypocrites as usual.

a mother whom i love so much but sometimes still a pain in my ass.

i know semua orang tua ingin supaya anaknya perfect, 

but man, Tuhan aja tau manusia ga ada yang sempurna, i even realise that.

and i even stop searching for a perfect man.

dari kecil gw dididik dengan keras, harus begini harus begitu.

sekolah harus pintar dan rajin,

kerja jangan malas,

abis kerjain ini harus ngerjain ini.

seiring berjalannya waktu, gw semakin dituntut buat ini dan itu,

urus surat2, bayar ini dan itu, beresin ini dan itu, blablabla

bukannya gw mau ngeluh, but sometimes this is too much.

she wants me to do everything, and i've tried my best to do everything that she asked.

but still, she doesnt tolerate any mistakes.

everything has to be perfect.

if i have to compare myself with my friends,

they never do such things.

envy? yes, sometimes.

they can go whenever wherever they want,

they dont have to do this and that,

but they still have a loving family who parents dont shout too much.

sometimes, im afraid if i have a boyfriend, how will he accept my family.

having a father like that is already ashamed for myself.

having a mom who like to see the bad in people, really makes me thing twice.

yes, im a pro of western life.

they can be independent in such a young age.

no need to have permition, date whoever they want, and parents still give full support.

andai hidup semudah itu.

bahkan gw sampe bertanya tanya, gw harus bagaimana biar orang tua puas?

im tired to do things for them, but not for myself.

i deserve it too!

want to know the perks of being the first child? nothing.